Capturing Connection: An Interview with David Steinberg at SEAF 2025
Introduction
At the 2025 Seattle Erotic Art Festival (SEAF), we had the pleasure of speaking with David Steinberg — writer, photographer, and long-time documentarian of intimacy. Having graduated as a “Master of erotic art” at SEAF, David now enjoys the privilege of having his work automatically included in the exhibition each year, regardless of the jury selection process. Best known for his work with Cupido magazine and his evocative portraits of real-life couples, David offered us an open conversation about process, ethics, memory, and the healing power of erotic photography.
David, thank you for meeting with us. Could you start by telling us how you choose which photos to submit to SEAF each year?
Every year, I submit ten photographs to the SEAF jury. If they select one, that becomes my piece in the exhibition. But sometimes, none are chosen — like this year. Before I made a final decision, Sophia reached out and said that she and Andrew really liked a particular photo. She asked, “Would you consider making this your master’s picture?” I looked at it again in the morning and thought, “Okay.” I could’ve chosen another one — sometimes I second-guess that — but I’m ultimately happy with the choice.
Do you remember the moment you took that photo?
Absolutely. It was with a couple named Ginger and John. John didn’t want to use his real name, which I respected. Ginger had been part of a burlesque troupe in San Francisco — big, beautiful women doing bold, empowering performances. Someone in their community told them about my work, and they invited me over to their apartment to photograph them together.
What’s your approach during a shoot like that? Do you direct your subjects?
Never. I don’t pose anyone. The only time I’ll speak during a shoot is if they’ve been in the same position for 20 minutes and I literally can’t photograph anything new. Then I might gently ask, “Would you mind turning around?” But otherwise, I stay silent.
So you let them lead?
Yes. It’s important not to break the moment. I learned that from my friend Michael Rosen, who also photographs couples but with a different style. He’ll pause the session to give direction, which can be disruptive. Once, I was in a session with my partner — very intense, we were fully immersed — and he interrupted us to adjust something. It broke the moment, and it took us 20 minutes to reconnect. That taught me never to interfere.
So your method is very much about preserving authenticity?
Exactly. These aren’t models — they’re real people having real experiences. That’s what I want to capture. After each shoot, we look at the photos together. Every time, one partner will say, “Is that how I look?” and the other says, “Yes, that’s what I see.” That’s when I know I’ve done my job. It’s incredibly affirming for them. People leave these sessions feeling more beautiful, more connected.
That sounds powerful — almost therapeutic.
It is. And it’s not just about the experience. It’s the only way people get to see themselves in that kind of moment. A mirror can’t show you what you look like when you’re lost in connection with someone. A photograph can.
Let’s talk about your books. How many have you published so far?
The only one I’ve published myself is Divas of San Francisco. But before I even began photographing couples, I had published an earlier photo book — Erotic by Nature. That was about ten years before I ever picked up a camera seriously. It was that book that caught the attention of Cupido magazine in Norway. They said, “Oh, you know the kind of photographers we’re looking for. Would you represent us?” So I became their U.S. photo representative. Instead of dealing with hundreds of photographers, they just worked with me — and that was enough to pay the bills.
How did you choose the photos for this new book you’re preparing?
I wanted a wide range — different bodies, different dynamics, different stories. It’s a collection not just of images, but of human experiences. I think I’ve included six of my personal favorites. You can find them listed by page number at the back of the book.
Tell us about your transition — how did you go from writer to photographer?
I was working with Cupido as a writer, and they liked what I was doing. Then they asked me to send some photographs. I had never been trained, but I gave it a try. I used a basic 35mm Nikon, and then went to a photo store and asked, “What kind of lights do I need?” I ended up buying a basic setup — two halogen lights, some stands, and umbrellas. I spent around $800 on the whole thing, and that’s still the setup I use today. I photographed a few friends from the sex-positive community in San Francisco. I shot 27 rolls of film — around 700 images — and sent a selection to Cupido. They loved them and said, “Take more pictures.” From there, things took off. I eventually shot almost 200 couples.
Do you ever charge for these shoots?
No, I don’t pay people, and I don’t usually charge them either — unless they don’t want me to use the photographs. In that case, they cover the cost of the shoot. But that only happened twice. Most people are happy to be part of the work, as long as I honor their boundaries — like not publishing certain photos online if they ask.
You’ve built a very respectful and collaborative practice.
I try to. It’s about trust, and about showing people how beautiful they already are — especially in their most intimate, unguarded moments.
Interview conducted in May 2025. Transcription has been edited for clarity and brevity.